Dating online, what's your perspective?

well i'm asking because i am dating this guy online.


he lives in virginia and i live in saint paul, minnesota.


we've got have some things in common and he knows what i look like %26amp; i knows what he looks like.





i've been wondering . . .


why are so many people insecure %26amp; paranoid about dating online. friends and pps online say that it's nice to date someone in around my area, yeah, i've tried but hey, why not online?!





i'm young but not stupid.


i am pretty wise %26amp; am aware of these so called perverts whom is danger awaiting online.


i'm not into sexual chats %26amp; know what i'm going for offline and online.





so what's your perspective?


be straight-forward now.





^^ thanks.

Dating online, what's your perspective?
I think it is fine as long as you get to know the person and meet them before falling in love with them. I met my husband on myspace, but it took us 5 months before we went on our first date.
Reply:I think Dating Online is ok ( it's kinda hard to ''go out'') but then again dating someone isn't always about going out on dates. Just be careful and make sure your safe and everything will be cool!





Good Luck





Taylor
Reply:Both of you may be be up front about who you are and what you're like, but you'll never really know until you meet that person face to face. Just recently a very intelligent lady I know met this man online and chatted with him for a time before feeling as though she could trust him. I could not believe that she wired him $17,000. for airfare and expenses to get here from England. It's probably no surprise that he never arrived and she'll never see her money again. This is a woman who is the CEO of a big corporation and was tired of dating the men around here. She could afford to lose the money. That wasnt the worst part. She had planned to marry this man.


Bottom line. I've heard good endings and bad ones. Unfortunately, the bad ones far outnumber the good ones.
Reply:Sheesh, people are RUDE sometimes!





There is nothing wrong with online dating. Of course you do have to be careful, but it's not like you know who that guy in the bar is either, you know? You could click at the club, and he could be a serial killer or rapist just the same. And online dating is not "just for fat/desperate" people -- there are just as many normal, average, and attractive people looking for dates or currently dating people online, as there are in a club or bar. Sure, there's fat, desperate people online.... guess what! They're in your nightspots, too. Maybe not as many, but they are there, just the same. You'll also meet the people who don't have time to hit the clubs because they're busy all the time, or maybe they just don't like places like that, (which to me, are basically just places for people who like obnoxious music/dancing and drinking too much... at least for the majority of the people who go there). Or maybe they don't live near a bustling city. There's many a reason why people choose online dating.





Love knows no boundaries. My friend's aunt once told me a story of how her sister lived over 40 years, never married, always looking for the one... and it turns out, her "perfect man" was overseas. They met online, and they are still together. You just never know where love is waiting.





I wish you lots of luck! All of you. :)





Jenn
Reply:I think that it is perfectly fine.
Reply:I have met a few really nice guys....but many more...they would lie...and even put pics of themselves 10 or 20 years ago...and then show you a current pic....and it was really not good...or they would lie about many other things...like money or their motivations...a lot of players....





...so great you are careful...and even better to find a nice guy you like out of all the other ones....
Reply:Dating online isn't something bad. It was created as a type of communication that it's up to the people for them to do bad or good things. But, you know...the problem is finding real honest people. You'll meet a lot of kind people, but few ever honest! Yet, when there's a honest feeling, you actually know it because you have gone into deep conversations, shared experiences, and there's a charge in that atmosphere that isn't seen with others. Dating online can leave you very stripped in what are your emotions, yet of course there are always those small problems of lies. But, as long as you know what you're doing and know who are you looking for everything is alright. It's the feeling of words that is confronted here. And, those feelings one may feel may be as real to those you find naturally with other people near your area. After all, we have to fail some things to taste the real savor of victory!
Reply:just be careful,always meet in a very public place till you are certain
Reply:I have signed up but I just can't see myself paying to be set up. I tried speed dating also. Now that was fun. I still want to meet someone naturally. But that's just me.
Reply:I agree with the premise. I would prefer to call it something other than dating though. If you want to try it then go for it. The fact that you enjoy online dating reveals almost nothing about your character.





I consider online dating a good tool for building a foundation with someone to see if you want to connect further. I recommend it for post-college age.
Reply:I don't see how else to meet people nowadays. I met my boyfriend that way and he is a fantastic person I wouldn't have met any other way.
Reply:i don't think it can work. to me nothing compares to a to talk to a person face to face no amout of phone calls or qwerty can replace that
Reply:It still seems to carry a stigma, but should be ok. It's like you said, the stuff you hear in the news, but who's to say that your best friend, lover, soulmate, whoever isn't just a click away??
Reply:Desperate
Reply:well how can you be dating this guy if you never met him in person. talking online doesnt count as dating. does it?
Reply:I say it's a bad idea because people on there (especially the males) lie and cheat and take advantage of fools looking for love in the worst place. They often send fake pictures as far as how they look. And they can tell if you're all hard-up for a long-term, loving relationship by what you say, and then they just milk the situation and play on your weakness until they can meet up with you just to have sex with you. (I've even heard of chics sending guys money that they met on line, and vice versa too). If they don't just come straight out and say they're looking for sexual encounters, then they'll play along with whatever the desperado says they want from the whole thing. Also, if they were so great, then why would they even trolling the internet for a mate in the first place? I say be careful! The harder you look the less you find...when it comes to guys, that is.
Reply:I have had good luck with dating online.





People will show who they are, just let them talk!





Always meet in a public place, at least until you know him, and let a friend know where youare going. Lastly, set a check in time with a friend or relative, and you will be fine!
Reply:"Me, I don't 'DATE ON LINE'."





"Me, I use Yahoo! PERSONALS to look for 'POTENTIAL CONTACTS' in the


area that I plan to move to."





"I won't have anything ONGOING with a lady that resides over five miles from


my point of destination."





"For me, Yahoo! PERSONALS, is only meant for meeting these women. To


date, or not to date, will be determined based on our meeting up for drinks,


coffee, or somewhere on the campus of the University of Arkansas at


Fayetteville."
Reply:I think it's a great way to meet new people, but that's all.





Just remember, you know nothing about someone you talk to online until you actually meet them. (even the picture could be phony, how do you know that they didn't give you somebody else's picture).





What most dating experts recommend is treat someone you meet online with the same degree of caution as you treat anyone who is a stranger that you find interesting. Only meet in public places where you feel comfortable until you get know them, meet some of their friends, and feel comfortable that they're an ok person. (I would emphasize meeting friends, remember, even in person people can lie and it's easier to lie if nobobdy's there to contradict you, if other people trust them then maybe you can trust them too.) Remember it's so much easier to lie through the Internet than is when you actually meet someone. Even when people meet in real life, they try to cover up their flaws. So assume the same thing with the Internet.





Also, the danger is not just that you meet a pervert, although there is plenty to worry about there. You could find them physically unattractive (i know you've got pictures, could be somebody else's pictures, could be pictures that are 15 years old..so on). They could be involved in a relationship with someone else or married and the internet is the easiest way to meet people and carry on adulterous relationships without the partner finding out. (I'm not going to go into details but I have had a similar experience...we lived a long distance apart and we were always meeting in places half way inbetween...thus the man she was living with didn't know).





Finally, two points. The worst thing about the Internet is you get emotionally invested in the person and feel a sense of intimacy before you even get to know them. Even if they are exactly who they say they are, you maybe setting yourself up for heartbreak. If a long distance relationship is involved, eventually someone has to move. A lot of people are not willing to leave behind their jobs, family, friends, just because they feel like they've met "the one".





Point # 2: You seem like your an adult with a pretty good head on your shoulders. If you're a minor, then you shouldn't be communicating with anybody your parents don't know about and have personally met. Leave online dating alone.
Reply:I am 26 years old this year and still a single, i don`t like anyone around me. I want to date a man online too. Maybe i can meet a nice man...





I have a profile on Muslimonly.com, god bless me that i can find my Mr right soon!!!!!!!!!
Reply:I met my bf online 3 years ago, we talked for a year bf we met. I live in CA and he was in the army and lived in NC. we took it slow talked emailed and foned. I knew what he looked like and he knew what i looked liked. I wasnt ready to meet him till a year like i said into our friend/relationship. He is very sweet, smart and kind.





My friends told me like omg that creepy what if he is not who he says he is blah blah. (I had seen pics, and family pics and it also helped that he had a myspace and his friends and fam were on it. I also got to chat with his sisters) They would tell me omg date someone from around here someone you can be close too and so one. But i dated ppl form here and i dnt know it never seemed to work out. I liked the fact that i had someone i can talk to email and chat with. I was getting to know him from the inside out. It doesnt always work out for everyone, but give it a try. I do strongly recomend that u get to know him as much as u can b4 u decide to meet him. You know family wise and friends wise make sure that he's concrete and isnt flaky.





Long story short, we are still together he is in iraq and in sept 08 he will come back home and we will live in LA happy and content.





To me its not "weird" that u have feelings for someone u've never met. Its just diff now a days how ppl go about meeting other ppl. It was nice to get to know someone for who they are b4 u met the outter shell.
Reply:Not being rude or any thing, but that's really stupid and i think its a little st rang. You don't know who old they are or what they look like and, they could lie about there age and about them self.





~That's just my op pinon i wasn't trying to be rude or anything~
Reply:i guess it's okay as long as you're being safe. But i think most people go to online dating for a last resort because long distance relationships don't really work out well.
Reply:I know a lot of people who are happily married and have met online, don't rush it, and make sure you get to know them really well before you jump into anything or meeting. You do have to be careful.
Reply:its for the desperate ppl
Reply:I'm getting married in two months to a guy I met online.





I lived in Kentucky and he lived in Montana. I was 16 when we first started talking online and on the phone, and he was 27. My parents said I couldn't continue talking to him unless they met him. So he flew out to meet my family, and they said he was acceptable to "date" (whatever you want to call it online/mainly over the phone). When I was 18 I went to Montana to visit him, and then a few months later, I moved to be with him. Now I'm 21 (we've been living together since I moved here when I was 18) and we've been engaged since April of this year, getting married December 15th.





I think dating online is just as risky as dating someone you know in your area. You have the same chance of breaking up- you have to go through a lot of ppl before you find someone that works for you. Also, there are a lot of girls that are physically harmed sexually or just abused in general by b/f's that they live close to. Honestly, if they are miles away, how are they going to hurt you? I mean, at some point, yes you have to meet them, but hopefully you're smart enough to do it in a public place and/or with ppl you know before you go private. It takes work and sacrifice b/c of the difference, but if you both love each other, you find a way to make it work until you can be together. Good luck! (Side note: I did run into a lot of crazies before I met my fiance online! I met one guy online that hopped on a greyhound bus for three days and called me and told me he was two hours away and wanted to come over!! He stayed with another person I knew online and she said he started cutting himself and eating his skin in front of their daughter! Fortunately he didn't know where I lived and went back home. LOL so be careful...people with issues will go to a great extent to convince you they are safe!)








Edit:








I was reading a lot of the other answers, and a lot of ppl are saying "you dont really know what they look like" blah blah...When I talked to my online man we did use live webcams/microphones, etc. I'm sure there's a way to "fix" that too, but less likely if you're on a live video feed. lol Just be smart (which I'm sure you will be). I will say we talked more on the phone than online, and that helped a lot. We really got to know each other, where we stood on certain issues. Most ppl that go out on dates with real ppl don't really get to know them b/c they're just having fun- they aren't having deep conversations about experiences, family, beliefs, etc. I think online dating can have an advantage. It is a little awkward once you mee them, but that's a lot better than moving in with someone you've known and then realizing their beliefs aren't compatible to yours. BTW...maybe you should change your nickname from "vulnerable" to something else. lol
Reply:It seems kind of weird. You aren't really "dating" in the sense that you go out on dates, you can't have the same physical connection.


And even if he isn't some pervert or whatever, you still don't really know for sure who he is or what he really looks like. It's so easy to lie online.
Reply:Forget the whole thing. There are plenty of people in your own area to date.
Reply:i would be afraid. because unless you have met them, you really don't know who they are and what they are really like. could be a whole lot of crazy.......you just never know now days.
Reply:This is my opinion.I think online dating is okay, but you have to be careful. If you ever decide if you want to meet this guy, do not go to virginia. Let him come to you, especially if you havent spent any time together. make sure that you meet in a public place with a lot of people, just in case something goes wrong. There are a lot of weirdos out here these days so you must be careful. Also it wouldn't be a bad idea to try and meet a guy in the area. That would be emotionally easier on you also.
Reply:it depends on how naive u r. theres nuthing wrong w/ online dating if ur careful and aware. if u pay attention ur good.